Pruning the Prudes
Assa: I have a complaint to make.
Dick: Don’t tell me that you need another call girl.
Assa: Five girls will do, for now. It’s something else.
Dick: You can’t renovate your house by dipping into the city’s budget, sir.
Assa: No, it’s about the park! It’s in a horrid state!
Dick: God help us, he’s prowling the bushes again.
Assa: You can bet your ass I’m prowling! I wanted to see HOW you’ve been governing my city-
Dick: Oh I am CERTAIN that you went to the park to assess my performance.
Assa: We talked about that sarcasm, Dick.
Dick: YOU talked about it. With yourself. I think that’s the essence of our miscommunication.
Dick: NO, SIR! Will you stop spying on me like a hall monitor?
Assa: Prune the park!
Assa: Make it pristine, nice and enticing so the respectable sexual deviants will return to its bushes.
Assa: Right now, we got nothing but…
Dick: Spit it out sir.
Assa: Animal pretenders! Now prune the park!
Dick: Your wish is my command, Mister Mayor!
Petal: Furries have rights too!
Dick: Not related to the issue.
Petal: Can you repeat the issue?
Dick: The park looks like an Amazon rainforest.
Petal: I’ll stop.
Dick: Didn’t we do this before? Pruning the park and stuff?
Petal: Yup, you’re preachin’ to the choir, Dick.
Dick: Why is it hard to keep topiaries on a rotating schedule?
Petal: You redirected all resources to other crises, and FORGOT to reassign them to park.
Petal: Nobody cares about the park! Nobody cares about me! Which brings me back to –
Dick: Don’t do it.
Petal: Furries have rights too! They also have feelings! I am the last girl on your mind.
Dick: That’s untrue. We fuck.
Petal: I am talking about city governance! Resources!
Dick: So we gotta dress-up the park AGAIN, rinse and repeat.
Petal: Isn’t that what governing a town is all about? Rinse and repeat – same dull problems and solutions?
Dick: New factors arise sometimes. Hopefully.
Petal: Actually, we have a new spice in this arrangement.
[pan to Kiara]
Kiara: May blessed Gaia smile upon you.
[Begin on the right with Petal]
Petal: I will talk to Rosa and Bianca, but in the meantime, you talk some sense into her.
[pan to Dick and Kiara]
Dick: What sort of legislative hell are we looking at?
Kiara: O-oh? I think Petal’s just overreacting.
Dick: Well, if our park-manager is unhappy, it means that we have a problem.
Kiara: She is more frustrated than unhappy – not enough meat rubbing against her feral clitoris.
Dick: That’s one way of putting it. Her fur is all prickly.
Kiara: A different kind of clientele is frequenting the park now that it’s overgrown.
Dick: What kind of “different clientele?” The Mayor mentioned animal pretenders, which are furries – the park regulars.
Kiara: Oh, he didn’t refer to furries. It’s nudists.
Kiara: They find it convenient to frolic around now that the park is concealed with bushery.
Dick: I bet that’s your doing or, pardon me, lobbying.
Kiara: Some of them are very well-off, mister Richard!
Kiara: In fact, they are moving into the neighborhood en masse.
Dick: Just because of the park?
Dick: But nudists can only buy new houses if park-peepers are selling their homes.
Dick: Oh my god, that’s why the city coffers are getting bigger.
Kiara: So if you prune the park now…
Dick: We might discourage the rich nudists from pouring in.
[Dick and Kiara – left. Assa – right.]
Assa: That’s quite something, you little nudist nubbin’!
Kiara: Nubbin’? S-sir, I don’t want to sound insolent-
Dick: We talked about this, sir. Every girl has a name.
Assa: My apologies, Kiara, sometimes I forget myself.
Assa: It’s just- the reason that I called you a nubbin is… you know… because you are hot as fuck.
Dick: Sir, you should keep such thoughts to yourself.
Assa: It’s so confounding. Just yesterday you said that honesty is the best policy.
Dick: Not when you’re a walking lawsuit.
Assa: So you expect me to pick and choose what to say?
Dick: It’s EXACTLY what I expect of every deviant boomer that’s in perpetual heat since 1968.
Assa: So it’s nudism in a bushy park that attracts new money? And I wondered!
Dick: You knew about the big changes in the neighborhood?
Assa: Of course! I’m the mayor, it’s my job to know what sort of cash pours into my city.
Dick: You could have shared it with me, sir!
Dick: I love how you pick and choose what you share, but what you SAY is a point of confusion.
Assa: We need to focus on retaining the best of both worlds! Prune the park for the peepers and night stalkers and…
Dick: Spit it out sir.
Assa: Animal pretenders.
Dick: THEY ARE CALLED FURRIES AND THEY HAVE RIGHTS TOO!
Assa: Alright, alright – furries. BUT we also have to ensure that nudists stay interested.
Assa: Especially the ones that are loaded.
Kiara: I can totally vibe with that. We just gotta bring Petal on board, mister Dick.
Dick: I have a problem seeing why this isn’t straightforward.
Petal: I just think it’s a bad idea.
Kiara: Miss Petal, I want to make this work for all-
Petal: -of us? Is every sentence that comes out of you a predictable waste of time, Kiara?
Dick: Whoa, whoa, Petal. You ARE her boss – ease up.
Kiara: My suggestion is to keep the shrubbery just half a foot taller and wider than usual.
Dick: Hm, Kiara, are you sure that’s enough?
Kiara: Trust me, I’ve measured it out-
Petal: I bet you did.
Kiara: It’s just right. It will keep both nudists and peepers interested.
Dick: Not to mention furries, right Kiara?
Kiara: Right! We’re essentially pruning away the prudes.
Petal: Put that on your bumper sticker.
Dick: I think it’s an amazing idea, Kiara. Now if you’ll please leave me with Petal for a minute. I gotta talk to her.
Dick: I literally do not see a problem. Only opportunity.
Petal: I bet you do. The girl comes in, titties flopping, and suddenly she makes broad business decisions.
Dick: So THAT is the issue!
Petal: I am not a child, Dick, it’s a matter of diligence.
Dick: You are overthinking it in order to mask the simple fact that you are afraid of Kiara’s initiative.
Petal: Please! She stumbled into it.
Dick: You have to get over it Petal. Changes are inescapable.
Petal: It’s easy for you to say. You are not sexually marginalized, you’ll always be relevant.
Dick: Don’t throw that at me! Haven’t I been nothing but inclusive?! Towards you?
Dick: I know what this is about.
Dick: You just want to have sex with me.
Petal: Don’t be ridiculous, Dick. This is serious.
Petal: Besides, I never JUST want to have sex with you.
Assa: So is this gonna be a new order of things, Dicky?
Dick: Sir, please-
Assa: You decided to do something directly against my orders.
Dick: You won’t even notice the difference. I just need your signature here.
Assa: I do notice, Richard.
Dick: Here we go with Richarding. Just sign the permit. The park will look just a tad bushier.
Assa: It’s mostly clientele that worries me.
Dick: Look at the city’s growing budget sir.
Assa: I- I- I just want to be heard, Dick.
Dick: It appears it’s my fate to deal with grown children today.
Dick: Sign the permit.
Kiara: Dick, sir! I wanna thank you for the opportunity to contribute to your enterprise.
Dick: Relax, Kiara. You don’t have to impress me – I already find you very… enticing.
Kiara: Oh I think I know why you say that, sir.
Dick: I bet you do.
Kiara: It’s because of my willingness to compromise.
Dick: Wh- y- yeah. Did you smooth things over with Petal?
Kiara: Yes we did. We sure made it all smooth and slippery.
Dick: Gimme details.
Kiara: I don’t think it’s appropriate.
Dick: We are alone. C’mon, you can tell Dick anything.
Kiara: Well, we kinda talked, Petal was flustered a bit.
Dick: And we know what happens when Petal gets all rosy-cheeky.
Kiara: We were sitting on a park bench while we talked.
Kiara: I managed to gain her trust little by little-
Dick: As your hand moved up her thigh?
Kiara: Well no. Her hand moved up mine. She agreed that I should bring more ideas to the table, but made me swear-
Dick: Made you swear what?
Kiara: To yield to her will like a beta to her alpha bitch, while she gently rubbed my clit.
Dick: And you conceded?
Kiara: Of course, she rubbed me so good I almost squealed.
Kiara: She made me orgasm on that bench without touching any other part of me.
Kiara: Anyone who can do that can be my alpha.
Dick: Oh Kiara…
[pan to right – Assa]
Assa: Um… I’m still waiting to sign that permit.
[pan back to Dick and Kiara]
Dick: Sir. How long have you been there?
Assa [off-screen]: I literally haven’t left.
Kiara: Oh my! Oh no!
Dick: Well, fuck. Trust me Kiara, it could have been worse.
Dick: He could have been here in person.
Petal: You wanted to see me again, Dick?
Dick: A little birdie told me that you marked the territory. HER territory, to be specific.
Petal: Kiara’s? You know that I get territorial when frustration makes me rosy-cheeky.
Dick: I could even say that you took initiative, in a way. Just like Kiara.
Petal: We both know that you didn’t call me here to point out ironies.
Dick: I called you because I get territorial as well.
Petal: Only if you’ll follow me into the park. I wanna suck you dry like a starving animal.
Dick: No. I’m gonna give it to you right here.
Petal: This is not exactly my mise-en-scène. I’m in heat, don’t spoil it now-
Dick: Spoil it? You made my day needlessly difficult.
Dick: I’m gonna bend you over and fuck you doggy-style, and mark MY territory.
Petal: You had me at “doggy.”
Dick: Do you know HOW I’ll mark you?
Petal: Please, tell me!
Dick: By cumming inside your feral pussy.